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Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck! |
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By listening to the tree bark. |
Hunters do it with a big bang. Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. |
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After setting out decoys the trio readied themselves for the ducks in the rosy pre-dawn light. It was then that the pastor realized he had forgotten his shotgun shells and had to make a trip back to the truck; so he got out of the boat, walked across the water, and in the same matter, came back to the boat with his shells. They shot (at) ducks for the next two hours, drank coffee out of the thermos and ate sandwiches. The priest then had to make a trip to shore for a bathroom break. He got out of the boat, walked across the water in the same manner, came back to the boat. Still later, the rabbi needed to go ashore. He got out of the boat and immediately sank. The pastor looked at the priest and said, "Do you think we should have told him where the rocks are?" |
Ten Ways To Tell If You Grew Up A Real Hunter!
1. As a baby, you preferred sucking on a deer grunt tube rather than a pacifier. 2. You dressed up as a Hunter for halloween. 3. When you discovered girls, you started using a cover scent instead of cologne. 4. Your school science fair project was entitled "How To Taxidermy Your Game At Home." 5. You put your science fair award on the shelf next to your bullet collection. 6. Your subscription to Sports Afield Magazine doesn't run out until 2049. 7. Instead of baseball statistics, you quoted the measurements of top ten scoring Boone and Crockett bucks- both typical and atypical. 8. You did your school book reports on: Whitetail Population Studies and Feed Supplement effects on Antler Development. 9. You ended up in detention because you used your fists to defend your right to wear your favorite t-shirt; which read "Man didn't get to the top of the food chain by eating vegetables." 10. You'll only go to college when they finally come up with a major in "Taking Trophy Bucks." |
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alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Hank?" asked the other fellows in the camp. "Hank had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail." "You left Hank laying out there and carried the deer back!?! "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal ol' Hank!" |
Hubert and Wendall went hunting, and Wendall shot a deer. They started to take it back to their truck. They were pulling it by the hind feet. That made the fur snag on the ground, making it hard to pull. Another hunter, seeing their dilemma, told them it would be easier to pull the deer by the rack. That way the fur wouldn't snag on the ground. The guys thanked the man, and he went on. After a little discussion, they decided to drag it by the rack. Hubert turned to Wendall and said,"Ya know, this is a lot easier to drag now." Hubert said,"Yeah, but we sure are getting a |
| Hubert and Wendall decide to make their first
deer hunt ever in the backwoods of Maine. They read all they could and
practiced hard. Finally their vacation comes and they pack the car and
head out on the big hunt. They arrive in the late afternoon and as
the season is open they excitedly head out to the woods for a afternoon
hunt. In their haste they leave compass, maps, and other essential gear
in camp. After an hour they both realize they are hopelessly lost.
Hubert looks at Wendall and in a scared and worried voice says "You know I read when you get lost it is possible to find your way out because the moss on trees always grows on the north side of trees" Wendall being the natural leader looks at him and replies" That is true but we don't know which way camp is. I read when lost you should stay put and to fire off three shots as this is a known distress signal .Don't worry we'll be found soon." Well the sun went down and they stayed put and fired off those three shots all through the long, cold, and sleepless night. |
For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with. Finally, the uncle had an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?" This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went,
dogs in trail.
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| Moose Hunting
Two hunters hire a small plane to take them to a remote area of
Canada. Upon dropping off the hunters, the pilot tells
The hunters go off. A week later when the plane returns to pick them up the two hunters are standing by the lake with two moose. The pilot fumes, "I told you guys only one moose, you'll have to leave one because we won't be able to take off with that much weight." "Oh, c'mon," beg the two hunters, "Last year the pilot let us take two moose on, you're just a chicken." Not wanting to be accused of being a coward, the pilot allows the two to bring both moose on the craft. The plane starts across the lake, straining to take off. The pilot tries and tries to no avail as they run out of room and the plane crashes into the trees at the end of the lake. A while later, after coming to, one of the hunters gets up and looks at all the scattered debris of the wreck and says, "Where are we?" To which the other hunter replies, "Oh, I'd say about a hundred yards
farther than last year."
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Maine Texas and Mass. Go Hunting Three men go hunting one from Maine one form Mass. and one from Texas and there going along and they get thirsty so the guy from Texas takes out a bottle of wiskey and takes a swigg throws it up it the air and shoots it and the guys from Maine and Mass. ask why he did it and the man from Texas Say's "well we have a lot more wiskey back in texas." So that satisfies them both and they keep on going and the man from Mass takes out a bottle of wine takes a swig throws it up in the air and shoots it, the guys from Maine and Texas ask why he did it and he replied with, "we have a lot more wine back in Mass." So that satisfied the 2 men and they kept on going. In a little while later the man from Maine takes a bottle of Budwiser out, drinks all of it and puts it on the ground, Then shoots the guy from Mass and the man from Texas asks why he shot the man from Mass.? and the Mainer replies "well see budwisers hard to come bye" people from Mass, aint!" Send in Your Hunting & Fishing Jokes! |
